Not Prepared
I am a 25 year old Black woman, recent college graduate, working in marketing and not loving my life, - anyway, not like I thought I would, because I am not prepared.
I am not prepared for life as a young black woman in a country that is hostile to my very presence; my coco-brown skin, my curves-I am thick, my natural hair, my full lips, my speech patterns, my fashion sense, my ethnic culture, my everything; and I am always expected to be something other than what I am.
During high school, my immigrant parents enrolled me in one of those girls after school programs, staffed by white women and focused only on academics, I left prepared for college, but not for REAL life. Not for female life, not for Black life, not for Black female life. I didn't learn to fully shield myself emotionally (I heard it was necessary for my long-term survival), I didn't learn how to date, I didn't learn how to navigate the stresses and challenges of everyday life and I didn't learn to think for myself in a way that a young black woman should. I am not prepared.
My immigrant parents want me to find a husband and marry asap, my cousins want me to start a master's program without delay, my job wants me to work longer hours without extra pay, the guys I date want me to give them sex and then disappear, my society wants me to be lighter and skinner, my friends want me to be stronger and tougher because it's what Black women do, my aunt wants me to be more religious because it helps her, -- there are so many demands, but I am not prepared.
Is there a place that a 25 year old young Black woman can go for REAL life preparation? Is there a place that can help me with all my issues and challenges? Is there a place that focuses on preparing women to navigate real Black female life? If there is, tell them to start an after school program for girls and let immigrant parents know that it exists.
About M. Ojukarah
M. Ojukarah is a recent college graduate that works in marketing and social media engagement. She grew up in Boston and hails from West African heritage. She draws inspiration for her stories from the women in her family and the growing West African community. Her passions are using media to tell stories, traveling and volunteering to serve seniors. She hopes to use her life and professional experiences to reach girls who are culturally connected and needs support.